


Noel C'est L'Amour

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Trope-inator [5]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: All the Holiday Tropes, Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Competitive Perry, Flirting Via Ugly Sweaters, Heinz is Oblivious, Holiday Decorations Competition, Human Perry, M/M, Secret Identity, Sign Language, Ugly Sweaters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-06 13:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8752804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: "Maple drive holds an annual holiday lights competition. Dr D and the boys take it very seriously. The only reason the boys' entry didn't go up last night is because it  was a school night." "We decided on an Australian Christmas theme, in honor of your moving to Danville! Do you like it?" Phineas asked eagerly. Perry held up his thumb and smiled. Looking over the plans again, he pointed at them, then at himself."You want to help us? That'd be awesome!" Phineas gushed, jumping up and hugging Perry, Ferb following shortly. Perry grinned. 'We'll win this year for certain. Nobody out-Christmas-es Perry the Platypus.'





	1. Declaration of War

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! And I'm bringing you the holiday trope fic to end all holiday trope fics! (Hopefully).
> 
> No, seriously. You have no idea how many holiday tropes I'm planning to cram in this thing.
> 
> Enjoy!

Perry Fletcher woke up the morning of December 1st to the sound of loud banging. He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it - the light shining through his window was near-blinding. He squinted at his alarm clock - the sun shouldn't have risen yet, so what was that?

Grumbling, he drug himself out from his blanket cocoon and haphazardly pulled on his red bathrobe. Tying it closed over his teal pajamas, he stumbled from his temporary bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Morning, Uncle Perry!" Phineas called out, Ferb waving from beside him. They were sitting on the living room floor in their pajamas, blueprints spread out before them and surrounded by tools, decorations, and a small pile of lumber. Perry returned a half-hearted wave as he trudged by and into the kitchen.

Bless his cousin-in-law, the kettle was already on and boiling. He took out a mug and teabag, setting it to steep before turning to Linda, who was seated at the kitchen table.

'Bright?' he signed, waving vaguely in the direction of his bedroom. Coherency didn't come until after caffeine.

Linda giggled. "I'm sorry, I forgot to warn you to close your curtains. Dr. D likes to put up his Christmas display as soon as the clock strikes December 1st."

Perry removed the teabag and doctored his tea. Taking a deep drink, he set the mug down and signed, 'Doctor D?'

"Doctor Doofenshmirtz. He lives three doors down. He kind of... eccentric?" Perry raised an eyebrow at that. Linda shrugged helplessly. "He kind of a crackpot, truth be told, but he's harmless. He's a self-employed inventor, and he substitutes for science teachers at the school, so most of the kids know and adore him. He has a daughter around Candace's age that lives with him part time."

More banging noises came from the living room, and Perry simply pointed in the direction of the boys.

"Maple drive holds an annual holiday lights competition. Dr D and the boys take it very seriously. The only reason the boys' entry didn't go up last night is because it was a school night." Linda's eyes flitted to the clock. "Excuse me a moment, I'd better go make sure Candace is up."

Linda left the room, and Perry could hear her warn the boys that they needed to start wrapping up their work and get ready for school. Perry trailed behind her, shuffling over to the spread out plans and glancing over them.

"We decided on an Australian Christmas theme, in honor of your moving to Danville! Do you like it?" Phineas asked eagerly. 

Perry held up his thumb and smiled.

"I hope we can beat Dr. D's display this year," Ferb mentioned quietly, tweaking the blueprints slightly.

Phineas sighed. "Yeah, that animatronic Abraham Lincoln he added last year was really inspired."

Perry's eyebrow once again rose skeptically. Looking over the plans again, he pointed at them, then at himself.

"You want to help us? That'd be awesome!" Phineas gushed, jumping up and hugging Perry, Ferb following shortly. Perry grinned. As soon as they let go, he pulled out his ever-present notepad and jotted down a quick note.

'We'll win this year for certain. Nobody out-Christmas-es Perry the Platypus.'

The boys giggled in response.

"That's true, nobody loves Christmas more than you, Uncle P."

"Boys! You need to get ready!" Linda called out, ushering a half-awake Candace into the kitchen.

"Okay, Mom!" Phineas called back, he and Ferb waving to Perry before leaving the room. Perry took a sip of his cooling tea, picking up the plans and looking over them. He'd ask the boys later, but he saw a few places where they could definitely add a few more lights...

Perry grinned. No way this Doofenshmirtz was going to outdo this display.


	2. Strangers on a Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka, Flirting Via Ugly Christmas Sweaters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention last time, but the title comes from an old French carol, which happens to be one of my favorites. It translate to 'Christmas, it is the Love'.

Perry stood calmly at the bus stop, stirring his Styrofoam cup of cocoa with a candy cane as Bing Crosby crooned about white Christmases in his right ear. The other earbud lay tucked in his scarf, allowing him to keep moderately aware of his surroundings.

Though he was tempted to put it back in, to block out the giggles and whispers from the group of teens nearby.

Perry loved Christmas, almost everything about the season, and that meant he felt exactly zero percent shame for wearing ugly Christmas sweaters out in public. Especially this one, seeing as it had been a gift from Phineas and Ferb.

The boys had sent him this sweater last Christmas, and it had instantly become his favorite. The body of the sweater was a charcoal grey, and was covered front and back with white snowflakes and teal platypuses the exact shade of his hair. Each platypus also had antlers and a light on the tip of their bills, that at the press of a button on his collar, would glow.

The bus for Maple Drive pulled up to the curb, and Perry took a sip of his cocoa and stood back, allowing the unruly teens to board first. He followed them up the steps, passing his token to the driver and turning just in time to hear one teen whisper, "Oh my God, that one's even fuglier than his."

Perry glanced in the direction they were pointing, and grinned. 

Seated halfway down the bus was a man about Lawrence's age, wearing a sweater ugly enough to rival his own. The sweater was bright green and covered with shiny ornament balls and a string of multi-colored fairy lights.

The man lifted his head as the teens jostled past him. Glancing over to Perry, his blue eyes lit up with a wide smile.

Perry smiled in return as he took the seat across from him.

"Hey, I really like your sweater!" the man called over.

Perry started to reach for his notepad, then bit his lip, figuring it couldn't hurt to try. Settling his cup between his knees, he signed, 'Thank you. I really like yours as well.'

The man's smile grew brighter, and Perry chuckled, relieved, when he signed back, 'Wait, it gets even better!'

The man then pulled down the bright yellow cuffs, and Perry smirked with realization as he pulled the material over three fingers on both hands, then folded his hands together. Raising them to his chin, they now formed a six-point star at the top of the 'tree'. His thumb curled around and must have hit a hidden button, for the fairy lights on the sweater lit up and began flashing.

Perry chuckled quietly, giving a thumbs up before tapping his own hidden button. Ignoring the jeers of the teenagers at the back of the bus, he held his arms wide as the platypus noses began to glow.

The man opened up his mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by the bus driver's voice coming over the intercom.

"Sirs, could you please turn your sweaters off, you are distracting your driver," came his unamused announcement. The other man flushed, quickly putting his hands down and switching his lights off. Perry shot the driver his own best unamused look, then looked over at the other man and winked.

The flush darkened, spreading to the tips of his ears as he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

'So, I take it you're mute, not deaf, judging by the earbuds,' he signed to Perry. 

Perry nodded, pulling out the earbud and switching off his iPod. Coiling up the wire, he shoved it into his pocket before replying.

'I'm Perry,' he finger-spelled carefully.

The other man paid close attention, before replying with, 'Heinz. Do you take the bus often?'

Perry shrugged. 'Just moved here, don't have a car yet. You?'

'Car broke down. Had to teach today, thought the kids might enjoy the show,' he replied, gesturing to his sweater. 'How about you?'

'I have no shame,' Perry signed with a smirk. 'And I love almost everything Christmas!'

'Only almost?'

Perry frowned. 'I hate mistletoe. I hate being mauled by desperate people.' He shuddered over-exaggeratedly, causing Heinz to smile.

'Carolers for me. Last year they refused to leave my house until I gave them figgy pudding. I don't even know what figgy pudding is!'

Perry laughed silently. 'What happened?'

Heinz smiled. 'My daughter ran them off. She can be pretty scary when she wants to.'

Perry glanced out the window, surprised to see that they were near his stop.

'This is me,' he signed over to Heinz, who glanced out the window himself. The other man smiled in excitement.

"Me too!" he exclaimed out loud as the bus slowed down. They stood up together when the bus stopped, and after Heinz gathered his groceries, Perry waved for him to leave first. Quickly finishing his cocoa, he tossed the cup in the bin before following Heinz off the bus.

"So, are you moving to Maple Drive? Its a really nice neighborhood," Heinz asked and tried to sign as the bus pulled away. The bags looped around his wrists swung awkwardly, and Perry briefly closed his hand over Heinz's to make him stop.

'You don't have to sign while you talk, I don't mind.' He shrugged, then continued. 'My family lives here, I'm staying with them while I look for a place.'

They began walking down the street, Heinz more focused on Perry than the walk before him.

"Oh, so who is your fam-" He cut off abruptly as he stared down the street. "Aw man!"

Perry glanced down the street in confusion. It was twilight, and the boys had already turned on their display. The caroling robot animals (platypus, kangaroo, koala, and kiwi bird) swayed gently as they sang, and several snowmen played cricket in swimsuits and sunglasses nearby. On the roof a Santa on water skies was pulled by a couple of white kangaroos.

The entire structure - including the Santa's pit stop on the roof - was outlined with icicle and fairy lights. Perry had added more lights just this morning, netting the bushes and trees in the front yard, and adding a few extra trees made of only of lights and wire.

He failed to see what was wrong, and turned back to see the other man staring at the display, hands on his hips.

"Do you see that?" Heinz pointed at the display, "They've practically doubled the number of lights since yesterday!" Heinz turned back to Perry. "Has anyone told you about the light competition?"

Perry nodded, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"The boys are my biggest competitors, and this year, I've heard they've got their uncle helping them! How am I supposed to keep up, when he keeps upping the ante?!" Heinz waved his hand towards the yard next to them, which was, indeed, the yard of Doctor Doofenshmirtz. Heinz.

Perry waited nervously to see if the man made the connection between his sweater and the boy's theme, but the man seemed to have forgotten all about the platypuses on his chest.

"Well, two can play at that game. He's not going to out-Christmas Heinz Doofenshmirtz!" He shook his fist at the display down the street, then absentmindedly bid Perry goodbye, already muttering about lights and something about George Washington under his breath. 

Perry waved goodbye at the man's retreating back, a little disheartened that their pleasant conversation had been cut off so soon. He sighed, turning and walking down to the cheerfully lit Flynn-Fletcher house. He eyed the display thoughtfully, then smirked.

Tomorrow, he decided, he would line the walkway with light-up candy canes and more lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My other fics will start updating again after this one is finished, to answer several inquiries. This will end just before or on Christmas, I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Plus, you will get a special Christmas posting - Love Goes On and a new stand-alone - as well as one or two New Year's postings - another stand-alone for sure, and maybe something else, I haven't decided yet. So, lots to look forward to!

**Author's Note:**

> So, in my research, I discovered that in Australia, Christmas light displays are a Very Big Thing. Cue Perry's competitiveness, and we have the base of our holiday fic.
> 
> I had found a prompt (I have no idea now where I put it) that was about a decoration competition. This got paired with another (very long) prompt I found about not!Evil Heinz living down the street in the suburban home and Perry basically disappearing into his yard periodically for naps and checkers while not fighting evil. Of course, I couldn't leave it non-Perryshmirtz, so this is what you get. :D


End file.
